Memo to Liberal HQ: Tell the people to Vote Liberal. There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

I am bored to tears with this election and it’s only the end of week one. This doesn’t auger well for the month of campaigning to come.

Speaking of which, if there is one sure bet, one dead certainty in this election, it will be that the coalition will have a disastrous campaign. Even if they win, it will be a terrible campaign. It always is.

Here are the problems the coalition faces:

1. Television ads. The Libs never do them well. They are nearly always too polite, too weak and too subliminal. You never see or hear the Liberal Party brand mentioned, except in the virtually inaudible authorisation mumble right at the end. SOLUTION: Change your advertising agency or get rid of the old farts in HQ who approve the tosh that the agency gives them. Get punchy and mention the brand - use it, or lose it.

2. First term governments hardly ever get kicked out. Added to the problem with this election is the fact many voters have too much of the 'fair go' spirit in them for their own good and will want to give Julia Gillard a chance, seeing as she’s only been PM for a few weeks. SOLUTION: The Libs need to go for the jugular and point out that Gillard is Rudd-light. She was there when all of Rudd’s disastrous decisions were made. She backed them, she supported them. Now she wants the public to move forward with her. Like lemmings, we probably will.

3. The coalition never get traction in the mainstream media, and when they do the coverage is usually negative. SOLUTION: Lack of media coverage of coalition policy announcements needs to be counter-acted by targeted TV advertising (see point 1 above.) Also, a radical alternative to the established media is sorely needed in this country. A Fox News-style channel would be a good start.

4. Leadership. I happen to like Tony Abbott. I think he will be a very good Prime Minister. Unfortunately this view is not shared by a majority of voters. SOLUTION: After this election is over, and playing devil’s advocate by assuming Labor will get re-elected, the Liberal Party should do a Lazarus, this time on Peter Costello, and pre-select him, posthaste, in a safe Melbourne electorate.

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