Video for the Week 29/8/09

If the earth hour propagandists ever get to you, just watch this video!

Have a great weekend.

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What have I done to deserve this?

Ok. So it hasn't actually happened yet, but the lead story on Channel 9s news tonight was that NSW premier, Nathan Rees, has been shafted, and his most likely replacement as premier will planning minister Kristina Keneally. The transition, according to state political reporter Kevin Wilde, could be as early as Monday.

My reaction (not so much to Rees' demise, but to his likely successor)? 'Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Anyone but her!

God, what horrible news to come home to.

If worst comes to worst, and it is her, I will say this: New Zealand is looking very attractive.

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UPDATE

Nathan Rees has denied he is resigning, and Kristina Keneally has denied she is interested in his job. Well, she didn't, really - she said "I want to be planning minister", which is like a rookie policeman saying he wants to be stationed at Redfern.

Meanwhile, my Passport and I are getting itchy.

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Some advice for Ricky Ponting

If I were Ricky Ponting right now, I would delay my return to Australia for what I would term a 'discreet interval' - say, about twelve months.

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UPDATE

Of course, chairman of selectors, Andrew Hilditch, is not without blame for our disastrous performance - and nor should he be. Were I Mr Hilditch, I don't think I would be returning to Australia at all. His cause not helped by dropping this clanger after the fourth test: 

I've got to say from a selection point of view I've been thrilled with the Ashes, I think it's gone particularly well.

Chairman of selectors Andrew Hilditch

Aussies didn't believe him then - and the final scoreboard doesn't vindicate his comments either.

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President Hannity?

According to World Net Daily:

Talk-show host Sean Hannity, a vocal opponent of Barack Obama's policies, said today he would not rule out a bid for the presidency in 2012.

snip

While Obama's approval ratings have been plummeting in his first year in office, no clear Republican frontrunner has emerged. The candidates most often considered viable include Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin and Hannity's Fox News colleague Mike Huckabee.

Cunningham, one of Hannity's guests during a visit to Cincinnati today, said the nation and the Republican Party need Hannity.

When WND asked Hannity to repeat what he said on the air about a run, he said, "I ducked."

Later in the program, a member of the audience asked what the host thought of a Hannity-Palin ticket.

The studio audience erupted in applause.

Hannity asked: "Would any of you really want me to run?"

Loud applause followed.

Hannity then asked, "How about I just stay on the radio?"

No applause.

Sarah Palin? Sean Hannity? I'm going to mark November 2012 in my diary. Regardless of the candidates, I have a feeling the next US Presidential race could be its most intriguing yet.

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Palin Faces off against 2012 rivals

Sarah Palin’s Facebook page has gained more than 300,000 new supporters in the last two months, reports CommonSense2020.com. 

Palin gained over 100,000 new members in the past week and currently has over 800,000 supporters.

Since resigning as governor of Alaska, Palin uses her Facebook page as her primary channel of communication. And, from the Wall Street Journal to the White House, what Palin writes certainly gets noticed.

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The last time I went to NZ it was sux

...minutes that is (I had to, sorry) - for me to get off the plane, clear immigration, and get into a cab.

The airport was Christchurch, and I was literally the 2nd person off the PacificBlue flight. They were still disembarking the plane when I got into a cab! I didnt think they could improve on that.

News today that a swish, new-fangled, streamlined, immigration process will mean that Aussies travelling to NZ will be through NZ immigration and customs in 8 minutes. I don't know what that means for Kiwis travelling to Australia - the article didn't say, and I'm not sure what the status quo is for clearing customs in this country. If it is more like thirty-six minutes, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

From news.com.au:

 Qantas welcomed the announcement, saying changes to existing arrangements will lead to increased business and leisure travel between the nations. 

"Following the lead initially taken by Prime Minister Key of New Zealand, this first step is welcomed by the Qantas group," airline spokesman David Epstein said in a statement.

I don't know if it was intentional, but the last paragraph contains a nice little dig at Kevin Rudd. Very amusing.

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Video for the week (a day early) 21/8/09

This is very funny and close to the bone. The guy in it is so close to the real thing, except for the charisma stakes, where he leaves Rudd in his dust.

Thanks to Andrew P for the link.

Some people should never be given a Passport

All countries have a veritable container-load of them. 

I'm talking about people who should be subject to an IQ test prior to travelling internationally. If these anecdotes (courtesy Sydney Morning Herald) are anything to go by, Passport rules in the Old Country definitely need tightening:

A British woman who had gone abroad for breast-enlarging surgery was unhappy with the results and wanted the Foreign Office to step in.

As did a mother in Florida who asked the consulate to help her teenage son pack his suitcase and drop him to the airport because he was feeling sick.

In a round-up of jaw-dropping calls to consulates by Britons abroad, the Foreign Office lists requests like how to control unruly children, what's the weather going to be like and how to make home-made jam.

A ghost of a story

Very funny video of a reporter scaring the crap out of herself as she films a haunted castle in Scotland.

VIDEO: Do you believe?

Read Helen Parker's story on Dalhousie Castle here

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I'll drink to that

I'm pleased to see that coffee is the drug of choice among Aussies. Well, the addiction of choice, to be pedantic. Either way, what excellent taste we have.

I like nothing better than my 10am skinny latté. Unlike, most coffee drinkers, I never drink it first thing upon rising, for if I do, I find myself micturating at thirty minute intervals until noon. But after 10am - no problemo. Weird, huh?

Also, I once worked with a lovely lady who surprised me when she told me that she never drank coffee because it sent her to sleep. But what nice dreams I bet they would be!

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Wonder no more

Andrew Bolt does some wondering: 

I do wonder why academic and commentator Peter van Onselen is billed as a conservative, when too often he seems to genuflect to the Left and kick to the Right. 

Genuflecting indeed. But then again, I've always thought van Onselen's political leanings were bleedingly obvious.

Peter van Onselen is clearly fascinated by conservatives, which must be why he devotes so many words to them. Perhaps he writes about them in an attempt to understand them better. If this is the case, he needs to study more and write less.

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Bring on a double dissolution

Miranda Devine has it spot on: 

But the Coalition should embrace a double dissolution on climate change. Bring it on. Call the Government's bluff. It'll be their best chance of winning back office for years. 

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Next year, perhaps I'll enter

The chap on the right has won the $40,000 National Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander Art Award. An award designed to:

...recognise the important contribution made by Indigenous artists and to promote appreciation and understanding of the quality and diversity of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander art from regional and urban based Indigenous artists throughout Australia...

This is obviously a very egalitarian award. Only a desire not to face too much competition prevent me from encouraging all Australian artists to enter it next year.

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Public Service head shuffle always on the cards

Being a bit of a public service vagabond, I reacted with considerable mirth at an announcement yesterday by Chairman Rudd of a public service head reshuffle; this shift in particular:

Ian Watt, currently the Secretary of the Department of Finance and Deregulation, will become Secretary of Defence.

That a quintessential micro-manager in Ian (call me 'Doctor') Watt is about to be moved to a department (Defence) that eschews micro-managing, promises to make for fascinating watching. I don't know who is about to be more surprised, Watt or Defence.

I do know that champagne corks will be popping at Finance at many branch happy hours this afternoon.

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ETS nonsense defeated in the Senate

Greetings. Apologies for the dead air over the last couple of days - it was due to an unplanned dash to Sydney to visit an elderly relative whose back had gone. Happily, on arrival, it had returned - albeit a little worse for wear.

Whilst away, I see that the government's disastrous emissions trading scheme was defeated in the Senate. Hooray for common sense. Alas, this insidious, abstruse and immoral policy will almost certainly rear its ugly head before the end of the year. If it does, coalition senators and the rest of the cross benches must defeat it again. Bugger a double dissolution! It (an emissions trading scheme) is a purported solution to an actual non-problem. And, as most rational people know, the most appropriate thing for a politician to do when faced with a non-problem is to have the courage to do nothing.

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Barnaby Joyce on emissions trading schemes

Barnaby Joyce was on ABC News Radio this morning talking about Labor's disastrous Emissions Trading Scheme, and how he would prefer no trading scheme at all. Link to audio here .

When Barnaby first came on the scene, I thought he was a bit of a ratbag. Indeed, in my former life in the public service, we had, as guest speaker at one of our branch love-ins, a departmental liaison officer. She was very nice and gave a very entertaining talk on what was an exceedingly dry subject - about timeliness and how her minister (a Liberal) liked his fonts, etc. She went on to say that the office was very busy dealing with deadlines and, quote: "a feral National Party senator." No prizes for guessing which one she meant.

Water has gone under the bridge, and, whilst I've no intention of joining the Nationals, the more I listen to Barnaby, the more I like what he says.

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Online dating for rams

You don't see this every day.

From Helgoysund, Norway...

A RAM dangles helplessly after zip-lining down a telephone wire - by a horn.

It got snagged on the cable, running close to ground level on a hill, while eyeing up ewes in a field below.

The creature slid down then came to a halt 15ft in the air by a telegraph pole at Helgoysund, Norway.

Tourists staying with local Geir Landsnes, 45, spent an hour roping the ram and hauling it to safety.

He said: "My wife saw something surreal from the kitchen window and realised it was the sheep hanging off the ground from the wire."

Geir's daughter Marita, 13, took the photos. He added: "As a reward for his embarrassing predicament we helped him achieve his quest by allowing him access to the ladies."

A hair-brained letter

I just had to respond to this letter to the editor in this week's The Weekend Australian.

David Lewis of Victoria writes:

If Andrew Robb is to be seen as a potential prime minister, he had better start doing something about his hair. Today no one becomes a prime minister or president unless they are impeccably groomed.

What supercilious nonsense.

Based on Mr Lewis' grooming standards, this gentleman could never have been elected Mayor of London by 53.2% of that city's population, then.

Greenpeace ship captain arrested

Good.

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Malcolm puts on a good show

I tend not to watch ABC1s Q&A only because I usually forget it's on. But I caught up with Thursday's ep online, and found it quite entertaining.

I was pleased to see Malcolm Turnbull give an excellent performance - not easy in front of an audience of 16-25 year-olds. Julia Gillard was on the panel too, and didn't seem to get as favourable a reception as Turnbull; probably not helped by her persisting in flogging the dead horse that is Utegate - something the demographic represented by the studio audience are bored by.

The person to watch in the future is Mitchell Grady, a Young Liberal from Queensland. Although I disagree with his views on immigration detention, he was articulate and persuasive, and the Liberal Party will be in good hands if more like him join their ranks.

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Australia thump England in the first session at Headingley

Have just been watching a resurgent Australia play England at Headingley, and the score at lunch on day 1, with England winning the toss and electing to bat, is 6-72, with recalled fast bowler Stuart Clark taking 3 for 7 off 6.5 overs.

The quote of the morning comes from TMS commentator and legend, Henry Blofeld. As the players walked into the pavilion at lunch, Blofeld remarked that Stuart Clark must be thinking of giving a two–fingered salute to the selectors (for not being chosen in the starting eleven in the first three tests - none of which Australia have won.)

Well, I’m sure Clark is to polite for that, Blowers, but I concur with your sentiment, and were I there, I would gladly gesticulate in an appropriate fashion to the Australian selectors on Clark’s behalf - as would most Australian supporters.

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I know which one I'd like to apply for

Today whilst reading the Western Magazine, a weekly publication inserted into regional newspapers, I made a cursory glance over two advertisements covering the full right hand side of page nine, calling for applications by rural students for scholarships to study pharmacy.

The first ad's headline roared: 'Want to get $15,000 per year to study pharmacy?'

and the headline of the second ad: 'Want to get $10,000 per year to study pharmacy?'

'Hang on a minute!', I thought, and read on.

The ads in question were placed by The Pharmacy Guild of Australia, on behalf of a government-funded scheme called The Rural Pharmacy Workforce Program.

The ad at the top of the page was offering three scholarships to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, valued at $15,000 each (to a maximum value of $60,000); and the ad below it - obviously applicable to everyone else - offered 30 scholarships at $10,000 each (to a maximum value of $40,000).

Are you with me?

But it doesn’t stop there.

I quote a portion of the text from the first ad (for Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islanders):

Students interested in studying pharmacy at university need to have an interest in health, communication and science.

And from the other ad (for everyone else): 

Students interested in studying pharmacy at university need to achieve high marks in English, Mathematics and Chemistry.

So, one can only draw the conclusion that not only will Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islanders get an extra five grand per year for doing the same course, but it is hard not to infer that the matriculation requirements are not as rigorous as those for non-Aboriginals.

I have always suspected that the ride through the university playing field was never level, but I didn’t expect to see such a blatant indication as in these two advertisements (I apologise for the image quality).

NSW's Southern Highlands turns red under proposed federal redistribution

If the proposed changes to the federal electorate boundaries announced today by the Australian Electoral Commission are endorsed unamended, the blue-rinse set of the Southern Highlands of NSW incorporating the towns of Mittagong, Bowral, Moss Vale, Bundanoon and Exeter, will get an almighty shock as they say adios to the Liberal's Alby Schultz, and wake up to Labor's Jenni George* as their new local member.

Oh, my...interesting times ahead.

More to follow.

*Outcome of the next election, notwithstanding, of course - although I doubt the addition of the Liberal Southern Highlands will have much impact on Ms George's hold on Throsby, which is currently (on present boundaries) the third safest Labor seat in Australia with a margin of 26.5%.

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Video for the Week 7/8/09

Today, August 7, is the birthday of Greg Chappell – one of Australia’s greatest cricketers, and for mine, its worst captain. Chappell was the player responsible for the underarm bowling incident against New Zealand at the MCG on 1 February, 1981.

Background from Wikipedia:

With the (triangular) series tied at 1-1, Australia looked to have gained the upper hand by batting first and setting New Zealand a chase of 235 runs. Undisciplined bowling and fielding by the Australians, and a great innings from Kiwi opener Bruce Edgar narrowed the target to 15 with one over to play. Chappell's younger brother, Trevor, a batting all-rounder who specialised in bowling at the end of an innings, delivered the final over. From the first five balls, Trevor Chappell took two for 8, leaving the new batsman (Brian McKechnie) to score a six to tie the game. At this point, Greg Chappell intervened, told his brother to deliver the ball along the ground (i.e. underarm) and he then informed the umpire to let the batsman know of the change of bowling style. Despite the protestations of wicketkeeper Rod Marsh, the ball was delivered and the batsman simply put his bat in front of the ball to stop. He then hurled his bat away. A large crowd of 50,000 – mostly Australian – loudly booed the Australian team from the field.

They were jolly lucky all they got were boos.

I remember the underarm incident, and it still embarrasses me, as an Australian, 28 years after the event. I think it is one of the most disgraceful and unsportsmanlike events even perpetrated by an Australian sporting side, and for which I hold Greg Chappell (even though he didn’t bowl the delivery) completely culpable.

Were I in charge of New Zealand cricket, I would have called a moratorium on playing against Australia for the next five test series.

Below is the video of the infamous incident, which includes the final over in full.

Striking actors or stricken union?

Australian actors have apparently gone on strike.

Er, how one can tell, I'm not exaclty sure...

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News Ltd to charge for access to online content

I don’t know why this is only being reported now. I recall either reading or being told that online content would be subject to a fee months ago, although I can’t recall where I read it or who told me. As a consequence, although perturbed by the story, it does not surprise me.

Rupert has a wonderful ironical quote in the article in which he is reported to have said:

Quality journalism is not cheap, and an industry that gives away its content is simply cannibalising its ability to produce good reporting.

Quality journalism. One wonders when was the last time he read one of his own publications.

I would happily pay to have online access to ‘quality journalism’, but, until such a Utopian URL is brought to my attention, I, like scores of others whose comments aver, will simply be boycotting News Limited’s online content and going elsewhere.

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Could the member for Goldstein be about to Robb Turnbull of the leadership?

Sigh. It was bound to happen.

Leadership speculation in the Liberal party has ratcheted up a notch, this time with the party itself proffering the name of Andrew Robb as a potential successor to Malcolm Turnbull.

Those readers with a keen eye will notice that Mr Robb’s name is absent from my list of potential Liberal Party leaders. This is not because I perceive any latent inadequacy on the part of Andrew Robb, merely that he, like Malcolm Turnbull, represent a marginal electorate; and the factors which make such a choice of candidate unfortunate, I outline in my previous post, and from which I do not resile.

Whilst on marginal seats, I should point out that a swag of Liberal/National electorates that you would not (in recent history anyway) classify as ‘marginal’, have fallen into that category post the 2007 election. Goldstein is one such electorate, held by the aforementioned Andrew Robb, with a margin of 4% (Robb suffered a 4% swing against him in 2007), nominally a little safer than Wentworth (3.6%), where Malcolm Turnbull actually had a swing to him of 1.1% in 2007. Note, however, that in the case of Wentworth, the current margin could change up or down, depending on the final redistribution of NSW’s federal electorates.

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Oh no, it's Kevin the serial killer

As much as I loathe Kevin Rudd, even I could not have come up with this gem about uncle Kev on the warpath ready to strike down rampaging outback camels, and being labelled a 'serial killer' by some woman on American TV.

And just as the killing of elephants is 'elephanticide', the killing of camels is 'camelicide', not genocide.

Either way, the story is silly.

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What the...??

This advertisement* appeared on page 17 of today's Daily Telegraph.

This is a prime example of this government's profligate spending and bureaucratic neology.

What does this thing mean? What 'compact'? What in the bloody hell is Australia's 'third sector'??

Outrageous.

The thing reads like we are living in Pyongyang, not Australia.

UPDATE

*Image re-scanned.

Turmoil in the top end

I doubt this story will get much traction in the southern states what with utegate and Melbourne terror raids going on....

A Territory-wide election could be imminent in the top end as a Labor minister in the Northern Territory government has quit the party.

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UPDATE

In what seems like an infants' school version of classroom parliament, Marion Scrymgour, former NT deputy Chief Minister who resigned from the ALP last month, has, according to the 7.30 Report, re-joined the ALP, thereby giving the party back its slender majority and negating the need for an election - for now.

Fake email affair update

The fake email affair appears to be not nearly as sinister as many handwringers in the commentariat and in the Labor Party would have us believe.

Former Treasury officer Godwin Grech believed an email existed, but it could not be found on Treasury’s email system. (Read Mr Grech's full account of what occurred here.)

It was then that Godwin Grech, according to The Australian, “made an error of judgment”.

“Rather than preparing a note for file regarding the discussion I had…I decided to create a record of exchange as an email that set out what I believed the original email contained.

“Although the email was not an original, I thought that it would help having a record in the form that it appeared if or when the original could be located.”

Hardly a hanging offence, I would have thought - for Grech or Turnbull.

However, if Malcolm Turnbull had known of Grech’s enormous work and health pressures, one wonders whether Turnbull would have relied so heavily on Grech’s evidence.

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If Obama is Kenyan then I'm a pineapple

Well before the 2008 US election there were all sorts of mutterings about where one of the candidates for Presidency was born, and the seemingly dubious and ambiguous evidence of same.

The debate persists , with a(nother) supposed Kenyan birth certificate of Barack Obama turning up on the net. (Right click on the image to zoom in).

Looks legit, doesn’t it … apart from one minor detail – Kenya gained independence from Britain on 12 December 1963, and a republic was declared on 12 December 1964. This ‘new’ birth certificate is embossed 'Republic of Kenya', and is dated 17 February 1964.

I believe this ‘birther’ nonsense just gives fodder to the mainstream liberal media for satire and ridicule. Maybe birthers, i.e. people who believe Obama is not a natural born US citizen and therefore ineligible to be POTUS - are so used to being satirized and ridiculed that they can’t see the forest for the trees.

The ramifications would, of course, be enormous and unprecedented were it proven that Obama was not a natural born citizen – indeed, the scandal would make Watergate seem as trivial as a 70-year-old hacker writing down the wrong number of shots he took at the 5th during a midweek competition at the Columbus Country Club. However, I simply don’t believe that Democratic Party operatives, and Obama himself, could be so stupid to perpetrate such a cover-up.

Whether Obama was born in Honolulu or Kenya or Indonesia, or Upotipotpon in northern Victoria, I know not. I do know that the chances of an alien/a foreigner/a non-US citizen being the current occupier of the White House would be as great as Kevin Rudd not sending his audience to sleep during his next speech; as likely Harold Holt turning up as a lane marshal at the London Olympics; and me waking up tomorrow morning to find all my debts paid off.

Costs nothing to dream, though, I suppose.

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